A Room of One’s Own

My mom loves to tell this story from when I was little:

I love to read. Apparently, before I started reading I was quite the talker. Once I started reading, the unspoken words quickly became more important. My reading ability grew by leaps and bounds until one day, she told me, “Mary Sue, maybe you’ll be a writer someday.”

I looked at her. “Nuh-uh. I’m gonna be a reader.”

Twenty-odd years later, it’s true. I love to read. It’s my thing, my vocation, part of my soul and the air I breathe and the things I say, think, do. Naturally, then, I got my degree in literature, and am taking a gap year before starting, Lord willing, graduate school in the fall of 2014.

But I’m still not much of a writer, and by that I mean I can write reams of academic stuff and have the time of my life…when I’m writing under a deadline. Not really a good thing, especially since four years in college formulated a taste for searching out the ways God has made Himself known through good, thought-provoking literature.

I guess my goal for this blog is to learn discipline in writing and thinking. There’s a certain document (called, innovatively, “Stuff to Write”) in a folder (more innovatively still, “my scribblings”) with a list of twelve topics I wrote down during the school year to think about later. They range over a whole host of ideas; some gargantuan (Number 1: time and place and Christianity) and some rather ridiculous (Number 12: Don’t tell me to get some rest.)

And there’s this big thing I’m beginning to see, and I have a feeling it’ll be a life-long (maybe eternity-long) seeing, if you know what I mean. It’ll be this seeing that’s gonna lead to me to write and think for the rest of my life, in order to understand (and by that I mean  the “put it in words so that I can define it to myself over the years” sort of way) and begin to explore the facets He shows me through books and life and people–facets of God the Creator and Savior, and what He’s done, and how He loves, and how He wants us to love.

So this is the still point. This’ll be where I stop and try to think (and just maybe, someday, it won’t be quite so laborious :s) and see, at least a glimpse, of the dance going on.

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